#this is like my most immediate thoughts
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I just did some math and, if Cas is as old as the earth, his 12 years with Dean is equivalent to like 0.08 seconds in a human lifespan. That’s less than 1/10th of a second, shorter than the blink of an eye. He knew Dean for such a short amount of time compared to his entire existence and it was enough to fundamentally change everything about Cas and how he sees the world. That’s absolutely insane to me.
#if u don’t believe me its (12/4.5billion)*365*seconds per day#I originally thought it was the equivalent to like one afternoon to a human#and a lot can happen in an afternoon. Some of my most life changing events occurred over the span of a few hours.#of course it was still romantic that Cas changed because of Dean in such a short period of time but an afternoon isn't inconsequential#but in this context its mind-blowingly romantic and hopeless because that's like if a random bug bit me and immediately died#and I fell in love with that bug and changed my entire perception of the world because of my love for that bug#Can you imagine that?#dean x cas#destiel#dean winchester#cas#supernatural#castiel#deancas#casdean#spn#Like
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forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.
#or just the moral dilemmas#rewatching amc interview is kind of making me insane#that moment in episode two when louis is looking for a sort of assurance in the fact that lestat may actually have some good in him#look at how he cares about music look at the simple wondrous things that can bring him joy#and then the immediate dread when the opera performance turns out to be imperfect because he knows how lestat will react to *that*#I think there’s also something really interesting in the highlighting of lestat upbraids the less skilled singer before killing him#(slowly)#but also I will wait to watch more before I articulate my thoughts#vampires#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#i ramble sometimes#I do still find the lestat and claudia film and novel dynamic by far the most compelling for how she tries to usurp him but almost to be him#but I’m enjoying this#I’m very curious if I will like show claudia more on rewatch#the movie always resonated most with me (sue me lol) because there seemed to be more simultaneous fondness and attachment even at the end
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#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin velvette#I have absolutely no clue what the screenshot is from#Someone just sent it in a discord server I'm in and I immediately thought of Alastor#I went with Velvette for the gal since I felt like she'd be the most likely to wear that shirt out of the women in the show#my art
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trucy: hang on polly you have a hair on you—oh, it’s long and…blonde. again.
apollo, internally: oh my god they’re all going to think i’m STRAIGHT and that i’m sleeping with a WOMAN
trucy, athena, and wright all thinking: oh that’s for sure klavier’s :/
#ace attorney#klapollo#aa incorrect quotes#apollo justice#klavier gavin#take apollo’s tone as you will#because sometimes people assuming i’m straight is like the actual worst thing you could do to me😤#but sometimes i feel like a secret agent😏 like yes😏 hello fellow straights😏😏#also i like the idea that apollo is just SO intent on minding his own business#that he doesn’t even realize that everyone he knows is gay#like he’s so smart if he thought about it he’d realize immediately but like man is too busy thinking about law for that sorry#so he’s just habitually ‘hello fellow straights’-ing them and they are ALL confused#me projecting tbh i’d rather die than let most coworkers know absolutely anything of value about my life😤#which works until one of them IS actually nice and chill and cool#and then they get blindsided when you finally reveal that you actually DO have a personality lol
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#something isn’t wired quite right inside me because any time i see him look anything akin to angry/mad i am aroused✨✨✨#seeing him like this brings two sides out of me:#one side that wants to be the best most obedient girl for him and get on my knees immediately#the other wants to be soooo bratty just to see the way those veins would pop more and that glare get sharper#either way it’s gonna end with him breaking my back like a glow stick 🤷🏻♀️#such a sluttttttttt for him god it’s insanity#hongjoong smut#ateez smut#ateez hard hours#hongjoong hard thoughts#joongie#�� — nat speaks
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What I loved about Cinderella's Castle is it is so entirely about Ella. We know starkid can handle a show with tons and tons of characters but I found it quite refreshing for it to be so wholly her story? I think it was a lovely choice for this show and man Bryce did such a perfect job of it, she is truly such a star
#starkid#cinderella's castle spoilers#cinderella's castle#cc#cc spoilers#I think I want to rewatch it a couple of times to actually ascertain how I rank it with other starkid shows but. yeah what a great show#they used that money well too every aspect was STUNNING#and I could go on and on about the choreography maybe the best from any starkid show it looked so fucking good#anyway. justice for my girls Justine and Lucy I miss you#OH more things I loved! no romance! starkid write fantastic romances which I love dearly but again it was so nice#to just see Ella discover herself and her power. and yes I know her and Tadius are heavily implied but! I love that it was allowed to#just be the very beginnings of whatever they might become!!!#I will say that I predicted the Justine and Lucy thing which is heartbreaking I miss them#but anyway I loved it as a version of Cinderella and I loved it as a musical and MAN the music FUCKING SLAPPED#I made like 7 pages of notes because I regret that I don't remember my immediate reactions to bf and npmd#they are insane and most of them are just 'oh my god' and 'he's just a little boy' whenever crumb was on#ALSO WHO THR FUCK WAS THAT MASTER DWARF CAN WE GET MORE DETAILS ON THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHI IS HE AND HIS WOODBLOCK#OK ALSO ALSO oh my god there are too many thoughts in my brain. also. so it's basically confirmed they want to be Beauty and the beast and#snow white now right?#were there any other fairytale references?#ok fuck it finally last thing verrrry intrigued by how much the audience were clearly part of the story
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Some Disaster Twins sketches + 2012 Leo being pretty
#my art#art#sketch#doodles#tmnt#tmnt fanart#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#disaster twins#rise leo#rise donnie#leonardo#tmnt leonardo#tmnt donatello#donatello hamato#humanization#tmnt human designs#I saw this dress in one of tiktoks and immediately thought of 2012 Leo#i drew it from memory#leo too lol#human designs are not 100% mine#not even remotely original#eah#but that's how i see them in my head#i always imagined them looking most like splinter out of four
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Every time I read Fernando cursing in fic, I can only think about this clip and then my brain short-circuits
#i have many feelings i shall not disclose about this clip#but i thought abt it again bcs in some fic i was reading it had fernando saying 'joder'#AND THIS CLIP JUST SHOT DIRECTLY INTO THE FOREFRONT OF MY BRAIN#fernando season 1 truly fed us so well#like seriously that show is a fernando fans wet dream theres just...so much...interesting...stuff...#i kept having to replay this clip bcs aaaahhhhhhhh my god.......the cursing...the low tone...the rolling Rs#wdym this clip is about being ahead in a race? all i can hear is sexy cursing and that it is brilliant :)#and nando himself listening back to the clip and just nodding confidently...I AM DEAD HE KILLED ME#(im not really used to reading Spanish J(too used to English J and German J) so the H sound doesnt really pop into my head immediately)#(so i could never really like visualize Spanish speaking charas saying words like joder in a sexy way)#(and then they showed that part in the show and my brain leaked out of my head)#*not actually strollonso but strollonso in my heart because this clip is how I visualize dom Fernando hehehe#i dont remember the ep i think it was either 4 or 5#i think itd be funny if it was 4 tho bcs i think that ep had the most insane clips and gave so much content#(that one had kitty fernando/carlando sr gay drama scene/nando getting railed(thematically)/etc)#fernando alonso#fernando(show)#fa14#formula 1#formula one#f1#we do a little bit of f1#fernando s1e5
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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⚔️🔥
#18! they are FLYING they are SOOOOOARING!!! FLYYYYIIIIING! okay ill stop#im sure at least One Person has noticed im trying to do dif outfits in every pic. or at least dif variants of an outfit (ex: school uniform#as of now i have completed every pic for this series and while i didnt get to all of em i did get to most. this outfit is the most annoying#esp for ORTHO i dont like drawing him in the first place but jeez this one has so much going on. so many layers i cant handle it all#that being said? this is one of my fav poses of all the pics. i thought of it immediately it was a fun concept#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#ortho shroud#suntails
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good old times
#invincible#invincible show#invincible fanart#mark grayson#nolan grayson#debbie grayson#fan art#artists on tumblr#digital art#sketch#doodle#my art#i headcanon that mark was THE ugliest baby ever and nolan's immediate reaction to seeing mark was the most disgusted 'ew' of all time#mainly bc i think it would be the funniest thing ever actually#then he gets attached and is like 'how did this happen. he is so ugly'#nolan grayson: mark may be an ugly baby. but he is MY ugly baby#sorry i have actual deep thoughts about this show but i have to meme on it or else it becomes a little too depressing#nolan being clueless about kids. esp human kids is another hc#humans are so fragile so i must bundle my part human child in winter clothes in the middle of spring <- nolan's thought process#debbie thinks it's cute#making myself depressed knowing how this family turns out#whatever nolan wins the most divorced man award. i need debbie to explode him#what could have been scenarios always get me because like. what if nolan stopped being constipated and had a rational thought for once#if he was able to see how insane the viltrumite way of life was and was able to properly cope with breaking away from it...
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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rereading the nuca pink doujin and seeing yakumo tear himself apart re: his snake form vs his human form all this agony and self-doubt and silent suffering and fear of rejection like "if i looked less human would u hate me" , "if u saw me in my true form wouldn't that be horrible. terrifying. disgusting" , "if i admitted i want to swallow you whole would you think worse of me"
and i imagine him asking something like this to the crowd of clan members , who are , undeniably,, a group of Kinky Fuckers
they all smile with the serenity and carefully masked excitement of a horny olivine. masterful beautiful reassuring expressions (errr..... masked to different degrees depending on the clan member)
#yaku is in his head so much about that#he thinks his snake form would be gross right? right????#eiden might give me Wet Hole privileges when i look like this carefully crafted human avatar#but if i revert to my original body there's no way anyone would ever want to ..be with me... like that? right???#meanwhile eiden's just got that sly look on his face in the corner waiting for yakumo to make the proposal#i can't imagine any of the clan members being particularly freaked out about yaku in snake form.....#all the yokai are immediately eliminated from Grossed Out pool. like. that's them. they know how it be#then you got the ppl who have lived way too long to be shocked by a sweet little snakewife being more noodley than usual#rei and quincy fall into that category most likely. blade by association because . well. blade.#he's gonna make a Yakuchan Snake sculpture and it's gonna be extra cute so yakumo doesn't feel shy about his snake form anymore#(actually it's going to freak yaku out even more and he's gonna spiral thinking that he's uglier than he ever imagined)#(and he's gonna run away feeling more insecurity while blade is SUPER CONFUSED because he captured his cuteness perfectly??)#(eiden's gonna have to reconcile another misunderstanding. sorry eiden. artistic differences are rough)#and you have the general Kinky Fuckers like eiden oli and morv#morv won't care as long as you feed him LOL#and eiden and oli are just sideeyeing excitedly like. snake? snake??? can we. can we try that 👀#i imagine that the only people who might express hesitation at first are edmond and dante#eddie would probably cave though once he realises it is IN FACT still yakumo in there. and he can fully consent#(then we give way to Kinky Fucker Edmond. Welcome to the party eddie!)#hmm... dante... never really thought about him and snakekumo...#how would that even go DOWN? like what is even the siTUATION here? how did we get here??#dante catches sooley who has a tiny snakekumo in his mouth??? a tiny lil guy who was lurking in his palace for some reason???#hm. warrants more thought exploration. we'll come back to that another time.#nu carnival yakumo
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kurunthokai, 168 — “what the hero said to his heart”
#i did this in a rush. that's why some things look wonky and weird and T-T#me drawing vague shapes then scribbling over them#here is some pavayatri for you#goldenmodel#pavitr x gayatri#literally whatever you call them#i tried translating slash rewriting the original kurunthokai poem#but it's in pure tamil so most of the words don't really line up with modern tamil/english#so i put my degree in bad writing to use. hopefully this does the poem justice#anyway yeah. have these babies#i love pavitr and gayatri so much!!!!!#i saw this poem and immediately thought “you know what would be absolutely sick. asm121 redraw”#and then I DID IT#no i am not sorry. not really. dw i gave myself psychic damage while drawing this#“the night gayatri singh died” be like#gayatri singh#pavitr prabhakar#spider man india#atsv#atsv pavitr#spider man#artoftheagni#its 1am rn if you have any beef with me please wait another six hours. i hate staying up so late
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in response to whether or not pussy would fix/destroy a man, i humbly offer my magnum opus, to be presented without commentary or explanation
WHEEZING the absolute second/third category slander, but like you're so right?? I DO have commentary however:
1) Honestly when I made that post one of my immediate thoughts was that I couldn't decide what category Childe falls into bc he kinda fits both. Or rather, like, it depends on who you're asking. Like he'll tone the... whatever that energy he has going on in that room temperature IQ brain is down a bit around other people because of the sedative/tranquilizing properties of pussy, but it gets worse with you specifically. Basically darling just bears the collective burden and takes one for the team ("the team" being the rest of humanity). Like the violent urges seem repressed to everyone else, but they're actually just being taken out on darling's holes. He does get 100x more neurotic tho
2) I know it was referring to psychological issues but when reading the chart my mind immediately went to the idea that getting some pussy would make the gods of luck smile upon Bennett and now that's canon in my mind, it's like the condition that has to be met to break his curse
3) The Kaeya/Xiao/Venti in both so true, like. Okay so now they're less sad + Venti has a place to live, but at what cost (spoiler: your sanity)
4) Chongyun is like the opposite of Childe because it benefits you because he tries so hard to control himself in your presence and is so good to you, but this makes him end up going manic more easily with other people. The entirety of the harbor has suffered for the sake of your relationship. You are now considered an auxiliary menace to society
#also at first i didnt realize it was alphabetical and thought it was like the most likely candidates for the category#and saw albedo at the top of 'makes him worse'#and didnt question it. like my brain immediately said 'yeah thats about right'
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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